Take Control of Your Life: How to Thrive in Unstable Times

I’m starting to recognize my challenges in life as opportunities for leveling up my reality.

I was feeling super ungrounded after my Vipassana retreat a bit over a week ago, and my initial reaction to this feeling was, “Great, this again… Why do I always go through this cycle? When will I end this pattern?”

Nothing felt stable- my housing situation, money situation, routine, etc.

A pattern that has repeated itself many times throughout my life.

During my Vipassana retreat I saw clearly how I often depend on my external circumstances to be “perfect” or make me feel more grounded- especially when moving to a new place. I tell myself that once I have a home that I feel good in and establish my routine here, then I’ll feel good. The problem with that is I don’t always have the time to waste “getting grounded” or waiting for things around me to be perfect.

And this time, things were feeling especially chaotic 🤣 I won’t get into the details, but here is a small glimpse of what happened while I was at my breaking point:

I was driving back to the Vipassana retreat center to sleep there for a night because the place I was staying in was infested with bees. I thought that maybe I’d be able to sleep there if I kept all the windows closed (most of the bees were outside), but after attempting to sleep, I realized it was not an option.

I was feeling overwhelmed and reactive- it was late and I was tired. I just wanted a place where I felt safe and could stay there without having to move around. A place where I could have my own space and feel good.

So I hopped on my motorbike with my toothbrush, pillow, bedsheets, and some clothes for the next day, and headed back to the Vipassana center not far away. As I set off on my drive, the universe decided to shake things up a bit. One second the neighbor’s dogs were barking at me and chasing me, the next- a loud exploding noise coming from nowhere, and moments after that, a black snake appears in the middle of the road straight ahead of me…

I felt like I was in a movie… (Hint hint).

I was like, “Okay what is going on here?!!”

And then it hit me. The universe was literally yelling at me and trying to get my attention, being like, “Hey Danielle! Wake up!!! This is all a simulation!”.

I snapped into reality then and there.

I realized how seriously I had been taking my “problems” of the time- keeping me stuck in my old thought loops, patterns & cycles.

I took a nice breath into my belly and relaxed, laughing at the big Cosmic Joke.

I had been so caught up in my “pattern” of feeling ungrounded and overwhelmed by the things in my external world being ‘unstable’, and my wanting of everything around me to be good and stable so that I could feel good & stable…

But I know deep down it doesn’t work like that.

Real stability doesn’t come from the outside.

So I realized in that moment I have a decision to make- I could continue letting the wind bustle me around like a feather, feeling overwhelmed and out of control, or I could shift whatever it was that was inside in myself which was causing my outer world to be dramatic and make me feel “ungrounded” half the time.

After all, there is a reason this pattern has showed up in my life again and again. And there’s a reason I’ve chosen to life my life this way as a 'nomad', with the constant moving around and ‘ungrounding’.

One way that I look at it now is that it’s there to help me wake up.

All of our challenges are there to help us wake up… Because when we rise above them, we shift our reality.

When I experience a challenge or difficult situation, there is always an opportunity to shift realities in that moment. When I am able to pause and separate myself from the outside circumstances, and not take things personally, I take my life into my own hands and I shift into a better reality. One where I am the powerful Creatrix of my life and destiny.

It's like the camera lights get switched on and I can see this 'reality' for what it really is, and my role as "Danielle". Then all of a sudden I have the power to choose how I want this next scene to look like, because even though the set is throwing barking dogs and snakes at me, I know it's just a set.

But, if and when I continue to react to everything as if it’s all so real, I stay stuck in the game, at the mercy of the outside world.

“You can’t find your ground by scrambling for stability, but you can find it the moment you relax into instability…”

A friend of mine posted this the other day, and it really stuck.

The universe throws you curveballs and challenges not as punishments, but as opportunities for you to decide in those moments that you are not going to let your outside world determine your internal state, and for you to snap into the present moment and alter your destiny to the next level, breaking free of your old patterns and cycles.

I’m not going to wait until I’ve made my outside world more stable and secure. I’m going to drop my attachments to needing everything around me to be perfect, and flow in (or through) the instability.

Ironically this results in me feeling much more stable, secure, and happy!