They Crossed Your Boundary—Now What? How to Turn Pain into Power and Healing

It's easy for someone to cross your boundaries when you don't know where your boundaries are.

As kids, many of us weren’t allowed to have boundaries. Our parents were in charge, and that was that. They had expectations, and if we didn’t meet them, they might get angry, punish us, or take their own emotional pain out on us.

So now, as adults, it can be hard to know where our boundaries actually are—because we never learned how to recognize, feel, or protect them.

But here's the thing: Now you're an adult. And it's your responsibility to learn, grow, figure that out.

So if someone crosses your boundary today, try to see it as an invitation. It’s a moment that can bring you closer to your wholeness.

Maybe at first you feel angry first at the other person, and that’s okay. But eventually, once you go inward, you may realize that the situation is actually a gift— an opportunity to heal your inner child or whatever situation this scenario is reminding you of.

With the proper tools, you can go back to the situation that this experience is reminding you (or your nervous system) of, tap into some healthy aggression, and let go of the pain that’s been buried deep inside of you, and was now likely activated in this situation.

You can realize that you now have a voice, and you can use it to stand up for yourself, and make a correction for all the times you weren’t able to do so.

You can bring that younger ‘child’ part of yourself who might be frozen in time, back to the present, by defending them and standing up for yourself — not from a place of anger, but from a place of love.

Because once you’ve given your inner child what they may have needed back then (protection, standing up for yourself, love) you might not feel so angry anymore in the current situation. Maybe you’ll see that it was actually the perfect opportunity for correction and for you to step into your power, with love and respect for yourself and for the other person.

Maybe you'll even feel more energized afterwards. More grounded. More powerful. More embodied. You may even feel grateful for the trigger—because it helped bring a piece of you back.

Now, what happens if you don't have the tools?

You’ll likely stay stuck in the story that they are the problem. That they crossed a line, how dare they, and so on.

But the truth is: G-d (or the universe, life, spirit—whatever word resonates for you) sent you this moment. Not to hurt you. But to help you heal and repair.

Every challenge in your life is an opportunity for that.

With the right tools and the right mindset, you become limitless.

Unfuckwithable.